Notes From a Hired Pen

10 things I have learned while at a hotel working on my book

Quite a few things:

1. I have two wrinkles that look like a quotation mark in the middle of my forehead, like it has been whacked over and over again by an oversized typewriter key. Couldn’t the mark be a little more interesting? Like an ampersand?

2. I have a lot more gray hair than I thought I did. They’re short and squiggly and I must pluck them because I’m not ready to start dying my hair (there’s a mirror right above the desk. I do not recommend this).

3. I don’t like writing for more than 15 minutes at a time.

4. Pretzel fish are delicious.

5. Pretzel fish are even more delicious when paired with chocolate chips.

6. The light on a full sun, January day can be more beautiful than on a perfect beach day in August.

7. I get bored easily.

8. Writing is great sometimes.

9. Writing sucks sometimes.

10. I don’t really care anymore if I wander down to the lobby in my pajama bottoms to buy coffee. Because coffee costs more than $3, and I’ll wear whatever I damn well please for those prices.

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