Notes from a Hired Pen: How to take the emotional sting out of freelancing

Readers!

 

I had to fire a client this week. It sucks, but they weren’t someone I worked for often, and I knew for a while that the relationship was not working out. But persisted because I felt maybe it wasn’t so bad. It was. So: bye.

A lot of emotion that can get tired up in freelancing. You’re constantly dealing with rejection, asking people to pay you better/treat you better/give you better contracts, and deciding who you want to work with, and who you do not. You often get to know these editors if you write for them for a long time, and pushing back on something for business reasons can be awkward.

I used to get twisted up about doing these hard things. I felt my stomach drop when I realized what I had to do this week. But it has gotten easier. Here’s what I’ve told myself to evolve to that position.

1. “It’s not personal, it’s business.” I picked this up from You’ve Got Mail. Yes, it’s said by the bad Tom Hanks character about putting the good Meg Ryan character out of business, but she picks it up too and uses it to fight for her bookstore. But it’s also just true in a lot of situations. Yes, I am one person running this business, but it’s still a business. If I’m not pitching stories that match what an editor needs, of course they’ll say no. If an editor just doesn’t like my essay I’m submitting on spec, of course they won’t accept it. It’s not really about me. It’s about what I can offer to someone who is looking to buy. Sometimes that matches up. Sometimes it doesn’t, often through no fault of my own.
2. These editors know how the business works. I’m not scared when asking for more money, better deadlines, or better contract terms anymore because I see this as part of the business, as do most of the editors I work with. Sometimes I’ll even write “you know, I have to ask…” and if they say no, but we’re still in striking range, I’ll most likely accept the assignment anyway. Go back to point 1. It’s a business, on both our ends. One exception, though: if an editor gives you lip for trying to negotiate, then it’s a sign they might be a pain to work with too.
3. I do not have to continue to work with people who treat me poorly. The first time an editor flat out insulted me, I cried. I thought that it was par for the course because they were an editor, and they had the power to assign and, ultimately, pay me. But as I stayed in this business longer, and was able to pick and choose who I worked for, I realized that I had power in these relationships too. I don’t need to work with someone who doesn’t pay enough, who takes too long to pay, or seems to go out of their way to push me down rather than lift me up. One example: I recently misspelled someone’s name in a draft, which my editor caught. I was horrified. She said don’t worry about it, it happens, she knew I was rushing to get it done before I left on a trip so she could meet her own deadline. I’ll continue to work with her because she realizes that I’m human. That’s who I want to work with, not an editor who makes it personal if I make a mistake. Also, when I sever one of those relationships, I don’t feel the need to explain myself beyond “this isn’t working for me,” or engage in a long back and forth about my decision. I don’t owe people who treat me badly any more of my time.

I’m sure some editors have a problem with me pushing back, or even being a bit of a robot about this I do that to protect me.  Harsh? Maybe. But, to quote Detective Roger Murtaugh, I’m too old for this shit.

Anyway, I’m just wrapping up a lovely week at the Finger Lakes Women’s Writing Retreat, where I spent four days running, napping and yes of course working on this novel. I was hoping to be done a draft I could share with people by Labor Day. But not knowing what was involved in writing a novel, that may have been an aggressive timeline. But! I now know where the gaps in the story are and can work on them, which means I am well on my way, and that’s a-okay (in case anyone else is berating themselves for missing arbitrarily set deadlines).

Also a reminder that I’ll be speaking at the ASBPE webinar “Is ‘Freelancer’ a Dirty Word?” on September 19 (you can probably guess my response!) Registration is now open — only $10 for non-members.

 

Recent Bylines

“Will the end of Chevron impact how we use standards?” for AAMI Array

“How the HR business partner can take on a strategic role” for HR Dive

“What is chat-to-apply?” for HR Dive

 

What I’m Reading

• Someone to Hold (Wescott #2) by Mary Balogh. Another aggressively fine romance that was 50 pages too long. I know going into these what I’m going to get, so hey there you go.
• Feminism for the 99%: A Manifesto by Cinzia Arruzza, Tithi Bhattacharya and Nancy Fraser. I was half way through when I realize it was published in 2019, not within the last year or so. A lot of what they said then is even more relevant now.
• Leonardo da Vinci by Walter Isaacson (read by Alfred Molina). And….once again on my quest to read every book about Italy written in the English language, we have this door stopper of a biography of not a Ninja Turtle but one of civilization’s greatest artists. I listened to this one, and ended up getting a physical copy so I could look at the pictures and illustrations. I learned that da Vinci was left handed, and a bunch about paintings I will hopefully be seeing this fall when I go back to Italy. I did get the “I write about male geniuses” vibe a bit too much at the end. So I’m not exactly surprised that Vivian Jenna Wilson, Elon Musk’s daughter, said that Isaacson did not reach out to her when writing his biography of Musk, which is pretty bad considering what he printed about her.  I will not be picking up that one.

 

What I’m Watching

• Wicked Little Letters. Did I enjoy very serious British actresses, one of whom is a Dame, cursing? Yes. But it’s a bit of a melancholy story because it’s about how these women were so boxed in. But I still recommend it — it’s just not the full-time rollicking romp you may think.
• Athlete A. I watched this before, but did again given all the Olympics going on. So many people colluded to ruin HUNDREDS of girl gymnasts’ lives. Hate it. But boy does it make their wins this year shine extra brightly.
• Young Woman and the Sea. It’s a fairly paint-by-numbers inspirational sports movie, which is fine, but I probably wouldn’t have watched if I knew it was a based on a book the editor involved in this debacle. May I recommend NYAD instead? It’s a much more nuanced look at defying gender expectations through a long swim.

 

Nail Polish of the Week

Mimosas for Mr. & Mrs. by OPI. Or: just a nice neutral for me.

 

Until next time,

Jen A. Miller

Notes from a Hired Pen ebook series

Like this post? Buy Jen a Coffee!

Bookshop.org links are affiliate links.